The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
