Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Randomize
