guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
