I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
