Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
