remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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