i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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