Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
