hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
