I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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