I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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