I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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