so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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