I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
