we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
