No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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