I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
