I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
