I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
