Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
