Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
