She's JV to your varsity
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
