dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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