i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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