i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize