So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
