The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize