It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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