no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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