It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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