I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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