So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
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You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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