If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
