i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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