I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well I just put wine in my tea
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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