Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
