Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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