I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
