i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
