I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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