But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
