Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
