Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
