No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
