Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
