i was born a porn star she said
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
