This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
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So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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