I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
