i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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