I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize