great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
