IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize