If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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