just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
