I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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