That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
