no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
