do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
