I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sorry about my life...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
